The most horrible kid names of the World

A logical continuation to the White Rich girl syndrome: the most horrendous kid names ever. Logical in the sense those two concepts seem to be sought together. Not that White, Rich girl syndrome sufferers would name their kids with total idiotic names, since there are a lot of barely alphabet, white (and not white) trash, people with typoed names - those Rich people just seem to be more kr8tiv with the names.

So here what some childfree people have seen or invented.
From that source, and still on the same community seen after:

Gwyneth Paltrow's kids: first one = Apple, second = Microsoft or Orange, third = Linux, or Banana, forth = Solaris, or Nut...
Asthma Hussein
Mcborg
Abcde ("Absedie" pronunciation)
Sephiroth
Polly Ester
Latrina and Artillia
The first kid: Shyanne -The second kid: Braggin (pronounced BRAY-gin)
Savannah Rae, Skye Blue, Maverick Storm (siblings)
Mykyia
Trice
Ansley*
Kinsley*
Mar'Quay
Mur'Quayrious
Me'Kaylen
Keaundrae
Alliceanee
Chardonnay
Kynnedi
Tra'Kireya
Kaedence
Ivyauna
Jarrline
Dymand
Laird
Danyale
Zy'Asia (wtf)
Macayle
McKenna*
Brailey
Raini
Heaven*
Destiny/Destiney*

So. Let's make them take in one more step to be even more kr8tiv with their kids names.
Inspired by those that really exist:

Allycen
Harley
China
Creed
D'Quarius
Shykee
Chada Sky
U'lysia
Me'Kaylen
Allycen
Chardonnay
Mar'Quay
Danyale
Laird
China
Harley
MeQuayeleh'
Mec'Queail
Miquil
Mique (yea TEH creative spelling!!!eleven)
Allucinogin
Brozakh
#
Zointë
Uaitlain
Lard
Margharin
Buttarh
Fad'Assh
Lanyardiele
Queyringh
Carquey
Essuv'ë
Aipod
iPod
Vindosh
Eckqspi
Vista
T'Abasko
Troianh
Durecks
Khandum
P'Ill
Champaghhne
Chardonnhay
Mërlotte
Win'Órdinhair
Theblwinh
Gluhw-Ann
Sweden
Norway
Germany
Kuala Lumpur (oh wait need to be kr8tv... Schwe'Dhen, Qu'Ala L'umpr, N'Òruei, Doitschl-Ann, Óstrihlia, U'Quei, Moskaw, )

Seriously. Naming your kid Chardonnay? Why? Why not go with Merlot, Table Wine, Asti, Spumante, Birra, Biere, or any other substance the mother was on while she got knocked up? May be the story behing kids called Savannah or Concorde - even those could be more creative or just plain awful: Esuvee, Airbus, Mallorca, Ibiza, and so on.

Fortunately the other kids don't give a ### of what you name your cat. So the cat could be Ostrihlia if you wanted it to be. I think I will just stick with normal cat names like until now. (And then, even if the male one was to be called Leonardo, no one has ever called him with that name. A funny dog name got stick to him, and it fits his more than straight cat nature well).