Tuesday, November 08, 2005

New STD: Gonorrhea Lectim

New STD: Gonorrhea Lectim
Beware the Carriers of a New Disease

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent
strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. This disease is contracted through
dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim
(pronounced " gonna re-elect him "). Many victims have contracted it after
having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures
to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include,
but are not limited to, anti-social personality disorder traits; inability
to tell the truth, delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance;
inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability
to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts
of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography
and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a
strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington, trailer parks, and the red states.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant
disease originated only a few years ago from a Texas Bush.